Continuation of 'another story I'm writing'

(see other post for the first part of this story)

“Uh I think I’m sick,” Leesha blurted out, suddenly terrified. “We should like turn around and go home ‘cause I need a Tylenol!”

Karol smiled in understanding, then tossed back a bottle of pills. Leesha groaned as she caught the Children’s Chewable Tylenol Tablets. “Forget it,” she muttered handing them to the nearest person who happened to be Sasha. “She needs them more than I do.”

Sasha rolled her eyes and stowed the pills in one of the many junk containers spaced randomly around the vehicle.

“Come on Lee-Lee you know this place, there’s nothing to be scared of,” an ancient voice assured her from a shadow. Already would tight Leesha jumped about a foot in the air and by the time she landed there was a monkey in her place.

Jayla flipped a switch illuminating herself and Jesse and rolled her eyes at Leesha. “Chill, Leesha. It’s just us.” Okay so maybe not everyone had been downstairs waiting for her that morning. Leesha looked down guiltily realizing that she had totally forgotten about her two newest sisters.

She quickly turned back into a human. “You come here every day just like me,” Jesse continued. “And you know these people so there is nothing that should make you scared.” Everyone but Leesha and Jayla tried not to shiver as the wise voice of an ancient warrior came from the little seven year old girl. Jayla had found Jesse, her secretly-a-werewolf brother Jaylin, and Kyle on her Elite Quest. Since Kyle and Sasha clicked instantly and it was custom for trainees to be mentored at least in part by their Seekers, Karol and Jim had offered to take in the four extra children in addition to their huge household.

Everyone accepted Kyle immediately, but the other three were harder to get used to. Jayla and Jaylin seemed unnaturally dark and extremely advanced in their skills while little Jesse seemed to know more than she let on. The grown up voice she possessed didn’t help at all. Jared and Simon had disliked Jayla and Jaylin from the start. When Jaylin had started sneaking out at night, their hatred intensified. After the twins revealed that he was a werewolf, they pestered Karol and Jim about it until they kicked him out.

In truth, Leesha thought that was a bad idea. Jaylin had never done anything wrong, he tried to be good. And he and Jayla were inseparable.

That dark night Jayla had had to make a choice. Jaylin was forced to leave, but Jesse needed to stay for her apprenticeship if she ever wanted to become a full fledged warrior. Jayla was torn until Jaylin promised it would be alright. Both had tears in their eyes as he whirled around and fled in his half wolf form.

Since then Jayla had clamed up, and they didn’t even know what her spirit creature was! Jayla and Jesse had only been there for about a month, half of that time had been without Jaylin, but already Leesha had come to rely on them in a weird sort of way. Sometimes she felt they were the only ones on her side in sibling fights.

“I’ll try to remember that,” she promised, hands beginning to sweat.

“Relax, Leesha,” Jayla murmured, toying gently with Jesse’s long honey-colored hair. “It’s not that bad, trust me. They just get you all hyped up so you won’t walk in there like you know what’s going on. It’s important that you be respectful, and this is the best way to Initiates to shut up,” she promised, not looking up. Her long black hair created a curtain separating her from the rest of the world.

“Here,” she added almost as an afterthought, tossing Leesha a small jewelry box. Leesha caught it without thinking, rather shocked. That was the longest speech any of them had heard Jayla make and the rare display of affection was shocking since she never seemed to care more about anyone than Jesse and Jaylin.

Slowly, Leesha unlatched the clasp. She was almost afraid of what she’d find inside, but trusted Jayla enough to open it. When she did Leesha gasped in awe. Resting delicately on a bed of jet black silk was the most detailed sculpture she had ever seen. The thimble-size gold monkey was perfectly flawless and hung from a simple yet elegant chain embedded with thousands of tiny diamonds that set off the pendant’s sparkling eyes. The perfectly sculpted figure was in Leesha’s favorite battle stance and managed to look absolutely focused. “I love it,” she breathed, unable to tear her eyes away from the precious gift.

Jayla smiled in satisfaction. “Put it on then,” she urged as the van continued to wind its way towards The Council. Trying not to think about where they were going Leesha carefully scooped the monkey into her palm. She admired it for a second longer before reaching back to secure the clasp. As soon as it was fastened, all of Leesha’s fears melted away replaced by a simple confidence.

Jim frowned. “Where did you get that?” he demanded harshly. “It has the look of an ancient amulet.”

“Oh, I made it,” Jayla replied flippantly, turning her gaze stubbornly to the floor.

“You made this?” Leesha breathed before Jim could say anything else. “It’s amazing! How did you do it?”

Jayla looked up and met Leesha’s curious golden gaze evenly. “My brother taught me,” she whispered then glanced down quickly.

Jared and Conner leapt to their feet in protest. Sasha’s eyes widened in shock then narrowed menacingly. Kelly gasped theatrically then fainted. Jared caught her just in time then turned to resume booing with his twin.

Jayla sat silently enduring the protests, Jesse’s face buried in her shoulder until Jim shouted, “Enough!” He slammed on the car breaks causing Simon and Jared who were still on their feet to pitch forward and crash into the built-in cushions.

“Jayla,” Jim began in a calm voice, though his knuckles were white from gripping the steering wheel so hard. “I thought we had already discussed this, Jaylin can’t come back he is a werewolf!”

“I understand your rules,” Jayla replied coolly. “I have not seen my brother since The Banishment,” she promised, referring to the night Jim and Karol had forced Jaylin to leave. Jesse and Jayla insisted on referring to that night as ‘The Banishment’ despite the others’ protests. “He taught me the art of sculpting before he left. My father taught him while we were separated,” she added quietly.

Silence fell over everyone present. “You knew of Jaylin’s existence before you brought him back,” Karol whispered in horror. “And you knew he was a werewolf?”

Jayla stuck out her chin, gray eyes flashing defiantly. “There is nothing wrong with being a werewolf!” she shouted. Suddenly she was on her feet. “As long as Jaylin doesn’t succumb to the evil within he is the same as the rest of you!” Everyone stayed frozen, not sure what to do as Jayla clenched and unclenched her fists, shuddering in an attempt to control her rage.

“My apologies,” she hissed in a snake-like voice when she had calmed down considerably. “I am rather sensitive to that subject, but have no fear. No harm will come to Leesha because of the necklace.” She sat down again next to an unconcerned Jesse and calmly began to french braid the little girl’s golden hair as if nothing had happened.

Not knowing what else to do Jim took his foot off the breaks and they began moving again. “A bad day for an argument,” Leesha heard Naomi whisper to Sarah and Marian who nodded solemnly in reply.

Leesha clenched her fists and stiffly took a soda off the shelf. She absently stroked the monkey’s small head as she opened the can and began to guzzle it down. Suddenly Leesha felt a steady gaze boring straight through her being and snapped her head up. It was Jayla and Jesse, but neither looked angry as they should seeing as she had just caused them so much trouble.

It’s alright, a foreign thought intruded upon her mind. Leesha was so surprised she gasped outright and choked on her soda. She coughed violently, spewing root beer everywhere. “Sorry, just nervous,” she muttered when everyone turned to look at her.

As long as you wear the locket I can talk to you, and you can talk to me, the voice promised. It will help you in other ways as well, but they are better left hidden. This time Leesha managed to swallow her gulp of soda before coughing discreetly.

What?! she asked inside her head not knowing how else to communicate.

The voice chuckled and was joined by a second laugh, older yet smaller. It’s Jayla and Jesse! she realized suddenly. Remember. Jayla warned in a foreboding voice. Remember what I said.

It’s very important, Jesse agreed solemnly before the pair fell quiet.

Leesha pondered what they had said for the remainder of the ride. ‘Remember what I said’? Had Jayla meant the advice about speaking to each other or something she had said before that…

Writing is fun, you should try it ;D

He breathed in deeply, mentally catagorizing the scents around him. One step forward, freeze! Nothing out of the ordinary.
Suddenly--
Now you finish it ;)

Another story that I'm writing

Leesha opened one golden eye lazily and yawned. She stretched her tired limbs and gazed around the room for a moment, drinking it in as she always did in the morning. What will I do today… She thought absently, flicking her long brown tail from side to side as she looked down from her tree onto her bed. Her thoughts wandered as she wondered what Karol was cooking for breakfast and whether or not she’d have to eat the gross school lunch again.
Oh! Leesha sat bolt upright. Today was the day she would finally be made an apprentice! Leesha leapt out of her tree shrieking at she went. The Monkey Warrior trainee quickly morphed into her human form and changed out of her banana PJs. After deliberating a moment, she selected knee-length plaid shorts with a cute brown tank top to match. She shrugged on her favorite hoodie which was chocolate brown with blue, white, black, and gray words printed all over it and pulled up her short brown hair into a loose ponytail. A pair of adorable brown skateboard shoes with yellow streaks completed the outfit.
She stomped down the stairs with a determined and excited expression on her face and darted into the kitchen. Her family was already there forming a loose half circle around the table. As soon as Leesha walked in they fell silent, watching her with cool eyes and solemn expressions. Leesha’s sunny smile faded, replaced by a frown of confusion and worry. “Hey everyone!” she greeted them, flashing them a convincing grin though they all knew her well enough to know that the confidence she showed was fake. She plopped down in the nearest chair.
“What is the plan for today?” Leesha asked, still pretending to be cheerful as she got herself a bowl of Lucky Charms. She thought she knew what was on today’s agenda, but they all seemed so serious…
No one but Leesha moved as she self-consciously shoveled the cereal into her mouth washing down each bite with a swig of milk. Soon she was too nervous and confused to eat, so she just sat there tensely, waiting.
Suddenly, Kelsi burst out laughing, surprising the youngest trainee in the family. “You look so funny!” she gasped between bouts of giggling. Leesha scowled, still not getting it. This made Kelsi laugh harder.
“’S not funny,” Leesha muttered. “Tell me!” Kelsi just shook her head laughing so hard tears came to her eyes. One of the most annoying parts of having an animal spirit inside you was your inability to control your emotions, Leesha thought bitterly.
Karol and Jim smiled at Leesha’s confusion too, though they tried hard not to. None of the others tried. Jared and Simon, the twins, were hooting openly. Naomi and Sarah, the only real siblings besides the twins, giggled, pretending to be discreet. Marian gave her a lofty, pitying smile which turned into a playful grin when she gave up the mask. Sean let the corners of his mouth turn up ever so slightly, a rarity, while Kelly with her cheerleader smile pointed at Leesha like they did in movies with the cute giggle that made her the most popular girl in school. Sasha smirked while Kyle, standing next to her of course, rolled his eyes with a humored grin and mouthed, “You’re crazy!”
Leesha stuck her tongue out at all of them and leapt to her feet. “Not funny you guys!” she growled. This was getting old fast. Her scowl deepened as Karol and Jim, her adopted parents, laughed even harder. Before anyone had time to react, Leesha was a monkey, an extremely short-tempered monkey that was flying through the air screeching its war cry.
Leesha glowed as she registered their shocked and somewhat scared expressions. It was wonderful to be the fastest morpher in the family. She was stopped rather suddenly when her lithe brown body collided with that of an African cheetah.
She hissed in annoyance, wishing once more that Sasha’s reflexes weren’t so fast. Both creatures crashed to the floor. “Girls!” Jim’s voice rang out sternly. They instantly de-morphed looking rather sheepish.
“Sorry,” Sasha muttered.
“I’m not!” Leesha announced, tossing her head arrogantly. “And I want to know what’s going on.”
Jared rolled his eyes. “Dimwit! You know what’s happening today. It called a joke, okay?” he smirked and rolled his eyes as if stating the obvious. “I thought of it,” he added smugly.
“Oh,” Leesha blinked. It made sense, but now she was piqued that she hadn’t thought of that explanation. “I knew that.” They smirked.
“Okay, boys, you’ve had your fun. Now keep your end of the deal,” Karol ordered, her expression leaving no room for objection.
Jared and Simon groaned in unison, but it was obvious they didn’t mind. As one, they transformed into large eagles and swooped away, supposedly to keep a promise. Leesha was filled with curiosity. As a monkey, emotions overwhelmed her one at a time more forcefully that for a normal person, or even the other warriors for that matter.
She sat down again, but quickly realized that was a mistake. Sitting still was even harder than standing still. She got to her feet again and rocked back and forth. Everyone was smiling and exchanging knowing glances. It was annoying!
A couple seconds later, which had spread into an eternity, the twins returned each of them carrying one edge of an enormous banner that spanned the room.
Good Luck with Your Initiation!!!
The banner read. Someone had added in red scrawl to the end: You’ll need it! Leesha laughed, shook her head, and scowled. Then she cocked her head, unsure of which emotion to show. Everyone laughed at her concentrated expression.
“Boys!” Karol exclaimed disapprovingly. The eagles screed, a sound akin to laughter and switched places. The back hadn’t been ‘edited’. Karol nodded approvingly.
“Thanks!” Leesha burst, looking around at her adopted family. Though it was sometimes hard to get along with them, they were the best she could ask for. Her thoughts look a different turn when she was suddenly pelted by pillows.
A miniature battle followed, but was eventually stopped by Jim. “Enough, it’s time to meet The Council, Leesha.” She gulped. No trainee met The Council until the day they were sent on their first mission. When the trainee returned their initiation was planned and usually occurred the same day or within the next week.
She nodded and forced a confident grin to spread across her face. “Let’s go,” she agreed, using to front handsprings get into the hallway and a flip to reach the door. Everyone was right behind her. They piled into the sleek silver bus outside that managed to look rather sporty despite its enormous size.
The interior was not like that of normal vans, there were no seats, only benches along the outside where they could sit and shallow dips in the floor to lie down in. Leesha chose to sit. The windows were darkly tinted. This allowed them privacy to morph if they wished. Most of the others did so since their kind was calmer in animal state and they were all anxious for her sake.
The drive, though short enough normally, seemed endless. The air was electric with tension. Kyle made a show of whipping out his pocket knife and pretending to slice it. A few nervous laughs were all he received in response.
Leesha was almost jumping up and down with anticipation, something only she could pull off while remaining still. “What’s it like, the council meeting I mean,” she asked excitedly even though she knew no one could tell her. She wasn’t really asking anyway, just thinking aloud as she often did.
It wasn’t as if she didn’t know all the members of the council, all warriors, trainees, and apprentices knew each other. And it wasn’t as though she hadn’t been in the meeting chamber. All trainees were shown the sacred meeting place the day they were accepted into warrior training. But the day trainee’s were given their first quest was the first tie they were permitted to witness The Council actually in session.
They pulled up to the nondescript gates of a private school a few miles out of town. As the steel gates swung noiselessly open, the first butterflies fluttered in Leesha’s stomach.

The first chapter of my story (that still needs a title)

Any critique ideas or additions you think would make this story better are welcome. Also, if you have an idea for the title. The story is basically about the five children who must fulfil a sort of prophecy and 'defeat the evil in the land' of course it's not easy, and there are more than a few twists along the way. But that's basically it and all help is appreciated.
Thanks
----------


“You’re it,” Skyler giggled as she tapped her maid and good friend lightly on the shoulder before dancing away.
“Skyler!” Jessie groaned though she looked excited at the prospect of a new game. She leapt to her feet and the girls eyed each other warily. Skyler was always starting such games, even though as a princess she was supposed to be dignified and lofty in her dealings with ‘lesser beings’ such as servants.
Jessie sighed and devised a quick strategy. Skyler stood about five feet away. She looked laid back and somewhat distracted by something through the doorway behind and slightly to the left of Jessie. Though you couldn’t tell by looking at her, Jessie knew that Skyler was fully alert and stood lightly on the balls of her feet, ready for any move her opponent could make.
Jessie sighed in frustration, knowing she had lost this game as soon as it began. Then Jessie smirked and her eyes narrowed. “Nikki!” she called over her shoulder to the cook’s daughter, friend of them both, while keeping her eyes trained on Skyler.
Skyler clapped her hands over her wide open mouth to stifle a giggle. “What is it, Jessie?” Nikki said, running in and skidding to a halt with a curious look on her face. She was completely unaware of the imminent doom about to befall her!
“You’re it!” Jessie poked Nikki and raced away, laughing. Nikki caught on immediately and soon the three ten year old girls were laughing and shrieking as they raced around the tables in the grand ball room.
Just then, the caravan of Bertatha that had been expected all morning was announced by the court crier and greeted by a round of trumpets. The three girls halted their game.
“Uh oh! Jordan and Robin are here!” Skyler hissed, eyes glowing. “They’re here to play while my dad talks to Jordan’s dad!”
“What do we do?” the other girls said with big grins on their faces. They knew that the wheels were turning in Skyler’s head and soon they would have a new game to play!
“Hide!” They all dove under the nearest table. “We can tag Jordan when they come in! I ordered no guards to come in here till we come out.”
Jessie and Nikki nodded and the trio crawled swiftly over to the table nearest the door. “Since you’re it, Jessie, you hide in front,” Nikki said with a dramatic sweeping motion. Her friends agreed and rearranged themselves so that when the boys came in they would be tagged before they knew what hit them.
“Wait,” Jessie whispered after a moment. “Why Jordan?”
“Otherwise he’ll not play for a while trying to be mature or something!” Skyler said matter-of-factly. They rolled their eyes together. Typical boys!
The three friends squirmed underneath the table in impatience and anticipation. “I’m excited,” Nikki whispered. “Jordan and Robin haven’t been here forever!”
“They were here a week ago silly!” Skyler said.
“That doesn’t count.” Nikki shook her head. “They were only here to attend your birthday ball.”
“Well I went to Jordan’s castle the week before that,” Skyler reasoned with a semi-defensive shrug.
“That was just you, and besides, that was his ball!” was the quick comeback.
“Yeah!” Jessie agreed then added in a disgruntled tone, “And me and Nikki and Robin didn’t even get balls even though it was our tenth birthdays this month too!”
“The last time we were all together that counted was a month ago!” Nikki said with an air of finality.
Skyler blinked. Nikki was right. Maybe that was why she was so restless lately. And her father hadn’t let her spend very much time with Nikki and Jessie the past month or so either. Instead she had had to play with Alexandria. That girl was no fun, wanting to only play tea party and princess ball. Real balls were so boring anyway. The girls were so lost in thought that they almost missed the large footsteps of the guard letting Jordan and Robin in.
“Here they come, quiet!” Skyler pushed what Nikki had said to the back of her mind.
There was a rather loud rattling noise as the main doors were unlocked. Slowly they swung inward on noiseless hinges. “Gotcha!” Jessie shrieked as she pounced. Skyler and Nikki jumped out too and raced away, laughing.
“Skyler!” her father’s voice brought the young princess to a halt. She slowly turned around, no longer laughing, and looked her father in the face with fear in her heart. He was not alone. Robin, Jordan, and his father King Jared were there too. “What in the world are you doing?” King Oliver bellowed.
“I was playing tag,” she said quietly, wincing inwardly at how the simple explanation sounded to her royal bred ears. “I was told that Prince Jordan and the page Robin were coming today. Jessie, Nikki, and I were playing tag so we were going to get Jordan and Robin to join us. We thought you were Jordan so Jessie tagged you,” Skyler concluded and braced herself for the lecture sure to follow
King Jared looked rather amused, but King Oliver Roulette was furious. “I’m sure they meant no harm, Oliver,” King Jared murmured, trying to soften his host’s heart.
“She should know better!” King Oliver roared, scaring Skyler even more, though she didn’t show it.
“She is still but a child.”
“She is a princess!”
“That does not give you the freedom to deprive her of her childhood,” Jared said coldly in a clipped voice.
King Oliver deflated then for no reason as far as the children could see. “You’re right Jared,” he sighed. “Go ahead children.” He waved his hand and turned on his heel, dark cloak flaring out in an arc. He exited with King Jared right behind, heavy doors clanging shut of their own accord.
The frozen children stared at each other, eyes wide. But this scene lasted only for a moment. “You’re it!” Jessie giggled, bopping Skyler on the head and racing away, looking back to see if she was being pursued.
Skyler blinked, still getting over her scare. Then she shook off the foreboding sensation and grinned at Jordan, eyes dancing. He smiled in return and sprinted away, Skyler right on his tail. He led her on a merry chase under and around tables and around the other children, but Skyler never strayed from her target and quickly gained on him.
“Ha! You’re it!” Skyler said as her finger tips brushed Jordan’s back. “Catch me if you can!”
“Yeah right!” Jordan laughed. No one could catch Skyler unless they cheated or ganged up on her. Instead he chased Robin, a much slower target.
The children soon forgot about the kings and the cold exchange they had just witnessed as the fast paced game dominated their minds for the moment. King Oliver and King Jared, however, watched them from a small balcony with masks of indifference in place as their eyes followed Jordan and Skyler.
_______________
“What do you think of the betrothal?” Jared said in a deep voice. The humor he had shown earlier was gone. “The Emperor will approve I am sure,” he added in a purring voice suited to his suave character. Both of them knew that it wasn’t really a question. If this was what Emperor Irayn wanted, it would happen regardless.
“Yes,” Oliver said, deep in thought. “What age do you deem appropriate?” he asked in a husky voice.
“Does fifteen suit you?” King Jared said, turning a dark cat-like gaze upon his colleague with a small triumphant smile.
“Perfectly,” Oliver muttered with a jerky nod, only half listening. “That will give me time to prepare…” Oliver gazed down at his beautiful daughter, a spitting image of her mother. It would be hard to let her go, but it was the best future for her. It wasn’t as if he really had a choice, the king reflected, cringing inwardly at how helpless he felt.
“Very well then,” King Jared murmured coolly. If he guessed at what his friend was thinking, he didn’t show it. “Shall we adjourn to your study in order to seal the document and work out the details?”
“I’ll be there in a minute,” King Oliver said distractedly. King Jared bowed exaggeratedly and strolled away exuberating an air of absolute confidence. “I hope I’m doing the right thing,” Oliver said to himself. Rare tears brimmed in his eyes. He quickly wiped them away and once again became stern. “Even if I’m not and she doesn’t like it she will obey!”
Just then, Skyler had the peculiar feeling that some one was watching her. Her head snapped up, but King Oliver had already ducked into the shadows and was following King Jared.



THE END OF THE FIRST CHAPTER

The big picture

My name is Elizabeth, and I am an aspiring author, which isn't the easier dream in this economy. I write mainly fantasy stories (in the process of getting that novel finished), but enjoy playing with some historical and contemporary fiction, like spy or assassin stuff, as well.
I love reading which is what led to this writing thing. I'm always looking for new books and authors and enjoy looking at what my friends put out there as well.
I think I made this blog to get some feedback on story ideas and excerpts I will be posting occasionally. I'd love to read anything you have too if you'd let me and am always open to new series I haven't read yet.
So that is basically a little bit about me and what I am trying to accomplish, so please help me. I've also heard that forming critique groups or writers' friendships is a good idea too, so that would be great.
But thanks for just looking regardless,
Elizabeth