Any critique ideas or additions you think would make this story better are welcome. Also, if you have an idea for the title. The story is basically about the five children who must fulfil a sort of prophecy and 'defeat the evil in the land' of course it's not easy, and there are more than a few twists along the way. But that's basically it and all help is appreciated.
Thanks
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“You’re it,” Skyler giggled as she tapped her maid and good friend lightly on the shoulder before dancing away.
“Skyler!” Jessie groaned though she looked excited at the prospect of a new game. She leapt to her feet and the girls eyed each other warily. Skyler was always starting such games, even though as a princess she was supposed to be dignified and lofty in her dealings with ‘lesser beings’ such as servants.
Jessie sighed and devised a quick strategy. Skyler stood about five feet away. She looked laid back and somewhat distracted by something through the doorway behind and slightly to the left of Jessie. Though you couldn’t tell by looking at her, Jessie knew that Skyler was fully alert and stood lightly on the balls of her feet, ready for any move her opponent could make.
Jessie sighed in frustration, knowing she had lost this game as soon as it began. Then Jessie smirked and her eyes narrowed. “Nikki!” she called over her shoulder to the cook’s daughter, friend of them both, while keeping her eyes trained on Skyler.
Skyler clapped her hands over her wide open mouth to stifle a giggle. “What is it, Jessie?” Nikki said, running in and skidding to a halt with a curious look on her face. She was completely unaware of the imminent doom about to befall her!
“You’re it!” Jessie poked Nikki and raced away, laughing. Nikki caught on immediately and soon the three ten year old girls were laughing and shrieking as they raced around the tables in the grand ball room.
Just then, the caravan of Bertatha that had been expected all morning was announced by the court crier and greeted by a round of trumpets. The three girls halted their game.
“Uh oh! Jordan and Robin are here!” Skyler hissed, eyes glowing. “They’re here to play while my dad talks to Jordan’s dad!”
“What do we do?” the other girls said with big grins on their faces. They knew that the wheels were turning in Skyler’s head and soon they would have a new game to play!
“Hide!” They all dove under the nearest table. “We can tag Jordan when they come in! I ordered no guards to come in here till we come out.”
Jessie and Nikki nodded and the trio crawled swiftly over to the table nearest the door. “Since you’re it, Jessie, you hide in front,” Nikki said with a dramatic sweeping motion. Her friends agreed and rearranged themselves so that when the boys came in they would be tagged before they knew what hit them.
“Wait,” Jessie whispered after a moment. “Why Jordan?”
“Otherwise he’ll not play for a while trying to be mature or something!” Skyler said matter-of-factly. They rolled their eyes together. Typical boys!
The three friends squirmed underneath the table in impatience and anticipation. “I’m excited,” Nikki whispered. “Jordan and Robin haven’t been here forever!”
“They were here a week ago silly!” Skyler said.
“That doesn’t count.” Nikki shook her head. “They were only here to attend your birthday ball.”
“Well I went to Jordan’s castle the week before that,” Skyler reasoned with a semi-defensive shrug.
“That was just you, and besides, that was his ball!” was the quick comeback.
“Yeah!” Jessie agreed then added in a disgruntled tone, “And me and Nikki and Robin didn’t even get balls even though it was our tenth birthdays this month too!”
“The last time we were all together that counted was a month ago!” Nikki said with an air of finality.
Skyler blinked. Nikki was right. Maybe that was why she was so restless lately. And her father hadn’t let her spend very much time with Nikki and Jessie the past month or so either. Instead she had had to play with Alexandria. That girl was no fun, wanting to only play tea party and princess ball. Real balls were so boring anyway. The girls were so lost in thought that they almost missed the large footsteps of the guard letting Jordan and Robin in.
“Here they come, quiet!” Skyler pushed what Nikki had said to the back of her mind.
There was a rather loud rattling noise as the main doors were unlocked. Slowly they swung inward on noiseless hinges. “Gotcha!” Jessie shrieked as she pounced. Skyler and Nikki jumped out too and raced away, laughing.
“Skyler!” her father’s voice brought the young princess to a halt. She slowly turned around, no longer laughing, and looked her father in the face with fear in her heart. He was not alone. Robin, Jordan, and his father King Jared were there too. “What in the world are you doing?” King Oliver bellowed.
“I was playing tag,” she said quietly, wincing inwardly at how the simple explanation sounded to her royal bred ears. “I was told that Prince Jordan and the page Robin were coming today. Jessie, Nikki, and I were playing tag so we were going to get Jordan and Robin to join us. We thought you were Jordan so Jessie tagged you,” Skyler concluded and braced herself for the lecture sure to follow
King Jared looked rather amused, but King Oliver Roulette was furious. “I’m sure they meant no harm, Oliver,” King Jared murmured, trying to soften his host’s heart.
“She should know better!” King Oliver roared, scaring Skyler even more, though she didn’t show it.
“She is still but a child.”
“She is a princess!”
“That does not give you the freedom to deprive her of her childhood,” Jared said coldly in a clipped voice.
King Oliver deflated then for no reason as far as the children could see. “You’re right Jared,” he sighed. “Go ahead children.” He waved his hand and turned on his heel, dark cloak flaring out in an arc. He exited with King Jared right behind, heavy doors clanging shut of their own accord.
The frozen children stared at each other, eyes wide. But this scene lasted only for a moment. “You’re it!” Jessie giggled, bopping Skyler on the head and racing away, looking back to see if she was being pursued.
Skyler blinked, still getting over her scare. Then she shook off the foreboding sensation and grinned at Jordan, eyes dancing. He smiled in return and sprinted away, Skyler right on his tail. He led her on a merry chase under and around tables and around the other children, but Skyler never strayed from her target and quickly gained on him.
“Ha! You’re it!” Skyler said as her finger tips brushed Jordan’s back. “Catch me if you can!”
“Yeah right!” Jordan laughed. No one could catch Skyler unless they cheated or ganged up on her. Instead he chased Robin, a much slower target.
The children soon forgot about the kings and the cold exchange they had just witnessed as the fast paced game dominated their minds for the moment. King Oliver and King Jared, however, watched them from a small balcony with masks of indifference in place as their eyes followed Jordan and Skyler.
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“What do you think of the betrothal?” Jared said in a deep voice. The humor he had shown earlier was gone. “The Emperor will approve I am sure,” he added in a purring voice suited to his suave character. Both of them knew that it wasn’t really a question. If this was what Emperor Irayn wanted, it would happen regardless.
“Yes,” Oliver said, deep in thought. “What age do you deem appropriate?” he asked in a husky voice.
“Does fifteen suit you?” King Jared said, turning a dark cat-like gaze upon his colleague with a small triumphant smile.
“Perfectly,” Oliver muttered with a jerky nod, only half listening. “That will give me time to prepare…” Oliver gazed down at his beautiful daughter, a spitting image of her mother. It would be hard to let her go, but it was the best future for her. It wasn’t as if he really had a choice, the king reflected, cringing inwardly at how helpless he felt.
“Very well then,” King Jared murmured coolly. If he guessed at what his friend was thinking, he didn’t show it. “Shall we adjourn to your study in order to seal the document and work out the details?”
“I’ll be there in a minute,” King Oliver said distractedly. King Jared bowed exaggeratedly and strolled away exuberating an air of absolute confidence. “I hope I’m doing the right thing,” Oliver said to himself. Rare tears brimmed in his eyes. He quickly wiped them away and once again became stern. “Even if I’m not and she doesn’t like it she will obey!”
Just then, Skyler had the peculiar feeling that some one was watching her. Her head snapped up, but King Oliver had already ducked into the shadows and was following King Jared.
THE END OF THE FIRST CHAPTER
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